How Could You?
Copyright Jim Willis 2001
When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.
You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a
couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever
I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How
could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly
rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were
terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights
of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams,
and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for
long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only
got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said),
and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the
end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career,
and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently,
comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided
you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and
when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed
her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was
happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was
fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother
them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent
most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how
I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and
pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated
my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them
and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I
would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into
their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we
waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that
you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about
me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed
the subject.
I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog,"
and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they
will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You made the
right decision for your "family," but there was a time when
I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter.
It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out
the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her."
They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities
facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."
You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed,
"No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried
for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and
loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.
You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to
meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your
upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good
home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules
allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At
first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping
it was you -- that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a
bad dream . . . or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone
who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking
for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated
to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and
I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully
quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not
to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but
there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of
days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her.
The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the
same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around
my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same
way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic
needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing
through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and
murmured, "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said, "I'm so sorry."
She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I
went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned,
or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different
from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey
to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was
not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of.
I will think of you and wait for you forever.
May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
Reprinted with permission.
Jim Willis is an animal advocate, award-winning artist, writer, and
book editor. To know more about Jim Willis and his sanctuary:
The Tiergarten Sanctuary Trust
8 Carter Lane, Avella, PA 15312-2242.
tiergarten@onebox.com
http://jimwillis0.tripod.com/tiergarten/
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PAL Librarian Recommends
Animal Grace: Entering a Spiritual Relationship with Our Fellow Creatures
by Mary Lou Randour.
In her quest for spiritual insight and meaning, Randour explored a variety
of theologies and practices. She says it was her awakening to the suffering
of animals that finally put her on the right path. Their agony opened
her heart, helped her to overcome her spiritual impasse, and galvanized
her into action to relieve the torment of animals. She quotes animal
theologian Andrew Linzey, "Once you take the road of becoming aware,
really aware, of animal suffering, it is a one-way street. There is
no turning back. There is, however, a moving forward toward a more committed
and better articulated spirituality."
Randour says it's not enough to just feel badly about the plight of
animals. She urges us to become aware and to take compassionate action
on behalf of other beings. She says that from her own experience, "grace-filled
spiritual possibilities appear when we redirect our attention toward
the effect our actions have on the lives of animals. In so doing, we
recapture the relationship we have with all of life, not just human
life. As we become more aware of and responsible to the animals that
surround our lives, they in turn teach us and heal us by redirecting
us to the vitality of creation."
Her book details the many wondrous ways in which animals have demonstrated
that they are our spiritual teachers and healers; it lays out a way
to become spiritually engaged with our fellow creatures; it covers reasons
why we intrinsically seek a spiritual relationship with animals and
how we can refrain from hurting them; it discusses respect for all life
from a biblical point of view; it explores the spiritual lives and soulful
natures of our animal kin, drawing from various schools of Hinduism,
Buddhism, and the Judeo-Christian tradition; and it talks about how
our lack of awareness harmfully affects the countless, often unseen,
animals that surround our lives.
Randour marvels how this "great and mysterious and mute nation"
can continue to trust and love, even after being so profoundly harmed
by humans.
This realization continues to bolster Randour's growth spiritually,
intellectually, and emotionally.
Read the book with an open heart and an open mind.
Also Highly Recommended
God's Covenant With Animals: A Biblical Basis for the Humane Treatment
of All Creatures by J. R. Hyland
Reverend Hyland traces the history of man's inhumanity to animals from
the beginning of time.
She writes that God's intention, from the beginning, was that human
and nonhuman animals live side by side in peace and harmony, that He
never wanted humans to use and abuse animals. Yet people have always
found ways to intentionally misinterpret His message.
Isaiah in 750 B.C. and the Latter Prophets, reiterated the ancient knowledge
found in Genesis: Animals were created in love and goodness, just as
human beings had been. And humans were ordained to be the loving caretakers
of animals, not their cruel abusers.
The Prophets Jeremiah, Amos, and Hosea were equally vocal. On behalf
of God, they said He wanted people to live in love, compassion, and
have mercy for all creatures. Jesus also tried to get people back on
a compassionate track, but was killed for his efforts.
Buddha and Mahvira taught that inflicting pain and death on other sentient
creatures retarded the spiritual growth of human beings.
Says Hyland, "In the past, the ability of animals was conveniently
underrated, and the affection, loyalty, and intelligence they demonstrated
was ignored or mislabeled 'instinctive.' We know now that their capacity
for feeling and for communication is much more extensive and sophisticated
than was formerly acknowledged." And they continue to be brutalized.
Hyland contends that the Bible calls upon human beings to stop their
violence and abuse of each other and all other creatures. It promises
that when they do, the sorrow and the suffering that marks life on Earth
will give way to the joy and peace that God wanted for everyone.
The Book Corner
Choosing a Shelter Dog
by Bob Christiansen The Nature of Animal Healing
The Path to Your Pet's Health, Happiness, and
Longevity by Martin Goldstein, DVM
Dr. Pitcairn's Complete Guide to Natural Health
for Dogs and Cats by Richard H. Pitcairn, DVM, PhD and Susan
Hubble Pitcairn
Animal Grace: Entering a Spiritual Relationship
with Our Fellow Creatures by Mary Lou Randour
The Souls of Animals by Gary Kowalski
God's Covenant With Animals: A Biblical Basis
for the Humane Treatment of All Creatures by J. R. Hyland
Kinship with All Life by J. Allen Boone
Homeopathic Care for Cats and Dogs by Don
Hamilton, DVM
The Natural Remedy Book for Dogs and Cats
by Diane Stein
The New Natural Cat by Anitra Frazier
with Norma Eckroate Love
Miracles and Animal Healing by Allen M.
Schoen, DVM and Pam Proctor
How to Get Your Dog to Do What You Want
by Warren Eckstein with Andrea Eckstein
How to Get Your Cat to Do What you Want
by Warren Eckstein
Great Owners, Great Dogs - A Training Manual
for Humans and Their Canine Companions and Great Owners, Great
Cats - A Guidebook for Humans and Their Feline Companions
by Brian Kilcommons with Sarah Wilson Help!
The Quick Guide to First Aid for Your Dog
by Michelle Bamberger, DVM
Help! The Quick Guide to First Aid for Your
Cat by Michelle Bamberger, DVM
Are you Poisoning Your Pets? A Guidebook to
How Our Lifestyles Affect the Health of Our Pets by Nina Anderson
and Howard Peiper
Pet Allergies: Remedies for an Epidemic
by Alfred J. Plechner and Martin Zucker
No More Allergies: Identifying and Eliminating
Allergies and Sensitivity Reactions to Everything in Your Environment
by Gary Null
250 Things You Can Do To Make Your Cat Adore
You by Ingrid Newkirk
How to Save Big Bucks On Your Pet's Veterinary
Bills by Alan W. MacCarthy, Jr., DVM
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